What’s your story? What narrative are you living by?
We are all living our own story. And once upon an editors time, we all came up with a script for who we were (the character), the type of world we live in and what we do (or don’t do) and achieve in our life story.
We have all created our own narrative and characterised ourselves and unless we change it, we live our lives by it.
Victim. Helpless. Fighter. Weak. Undeserving…. shall I go on? Of course there are great, helpful characters we identify with too – and if that’s the case, stick with your story!
Yet, I work so much with people who have characterised themselves as a ‘survivor’ in a threatening world.
Naturally and sadly, that came about from genuine circumstances and perception.
And of course, for some, the threat is still active.
… for others, those whom I am talking about, it’s over. Long gone. It has been for years.
It’s just that they haven’t realised it. They may be caught in traumatic responses from the effects of the past (which CAN be helped safely and effectively through revolutionary new therapies) but also, their story and character that they identify with needs changing and updating.
They are still inadvertently living out their old character, in an unhelpful way. To stick with the ‘survivor’ for a moment, their regular script are things like…
“I have to survive” (perception, the world is still unsafe and I have to fight/struggle).
“I do it to survive”. (perception, the threat of to surviving is still present).
“I’m only surviving” (perception, that all I can do, I’m helpless and the world is against me).
If we keep playing over our old narrative, the story doesn’t change.
WE don’t change.
The character, their behaviour, the world they live in, what they create for themselves stays the same.
So it’s important to check our own stories. Our narrative.
And sometimes…. it’s time to move onto the next chapter or create a new story that forms a life trilogy.
No good story ends at the point of survival. It takes the survival and shows why it was so meaningful. What has changed as a result of it. Who that person has become as a result. the ripple effect that has on others. how they thrive. Now THAT’s a story worth getting engaged with.
If this is you, firstly…. “You are ok. You are safe. The worst is over. The future holds hope”. And please know that past trauma can be helped and resolved. Your story doesn’t need to be that you need to suffer.
You can start becoming who you want to become. If you’re ready…Who is that? What’s your new story?
We all owe it to ourselves to check our story is true and current. If it’s not, it’s time for a re-edit.