Why avoiding things makes anxiety worse

Tam Johnston

So last week summed out the foundational tips for anxiety. With all of those taken care of, we now have free reign to delve into working with anxiety more. Let’s go!

What was that? “Yes, but….”… I hear you cry? I know. Really, I do! In fear, worry and anxiety our brain’s (well, our fight and flight centre to be exact) main mission is to make us avoid or run away from something that seems threatening, unpleasant, unfamiliar or uncomfortable. So in the real world, this plays out as procrastination, and we can get really inventive at it! We are also naturally drawn towards what is easy or enjoyable first, meaning there is huge temptation to put off that dreaded  task until (much!) later.

But of course this creates a vicious spiral whereby avoiding approaching a situation means the magnitude of it seems to get bigger and bigger, as does the threat. It also has the added effect of keeping it at the back of our mind, so threat detection centre cannot ‘stand down’ as it knows that it still got this looming threat but it hasn’t dealt with yet. The result? It gives a nervous system final activated and it needs to be, meaning we continue to feel more more anxious, stressed and fearful.

Needless to say, this spirals and worsens the longer we avoid it. Throw in a little bit of ‘negging’ ourselves out by beating ourselves up from not doing it, telling ourselves that we should, must, need to… do little to help the situation.

Yet there is a solution. It requires a deep breath in and a little bit of action. The moment we start doing something and approaching a situation, our anxiety or fear reduces. Taking action means that we are working towards solving the situation and signals to ourselves that it is safe enough to approach (even if it seems a little scary and unfamiliar). The sooner we just bite the bullet and start taking action, the quicker our anxiety or fear will diminish, and our helpful, rational, solution focused part of the brain will be able to come back online. The longer we leave it, the worst it feels… and therefore gets. So beat procrastination and our brain’s attempt at avoidance tactics by choosing to approach and start finding a way to handle what you perceive to be the most difficult, or unpleasant.

So do it now! Go on, you can find a way to handle it and push through. The sense of relief will be palpable and free you up to focus on the things you really do want to do. The added bonus, each time you do, you’re increasing your trust in yourself to be up to handle things meaning over the longer term, you will perceive the situations is far less threatening and develop more self-confidence within yourself.

More

ANXIETY TIPS 

How to contain anxiety: a technique that works

How to contain anxiety: a technique that works

How do we contain anxiety for those situations when the worry is constantly present and we have minimal if any control over it? This tip will help keep you grounded whilst creating time to acknowledge the source of the worry.

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When anxiety becomes YOUR NORMAL

Tips and techniques are useful. But if part of you still feels constantly alert, wired, over-responsible or unable to properly switch off, there’s usually a deeper pattern underneath the symptoms. Find out more about:

Colour image of coach and therapist Tam Johnston smiling at camera with wall backdrop
Tam Johnston

Tam Johnston

Lead therapist & Coach; MNLP, Dip.HYP, Applied Neuroscience Practitioner, Havening Practitioner, Bsc NURSING

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Tam Johnston is a therapist, coach, and mind–body practitioner with over fifteen years of experience working in psychology-informed coaching and trauma-aware change, following nearly two decades in frontline healthcare. She began her career in nursing and emergency medicine, where she worked closely with people during high-pressure, life-altering moments, before transitioning into coaching and therapeutic work in 2011.

Since then, she has worked with hundreds of people across anxiety, self-talk, resilience, and personal development, bringing together clinical insight, applied neuroscience, and lived experience. Tam has a particular knack for making complex ideas understandable and usable, whether she’s working with clients or writing resources, and believes that meaningful change doesn’t have to be complicated to be effective.
If this sounds like the kind of approach you’re looking for, I’d love to hear from you.

FIND OUT MORE ABOUT TAM HERE

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